How can men cope when their partner becomes chronically ill?

Chronic illness can be a difficult thing to deal with for anyone, but it can be especially hard for men. Being a man who cares for his wife who has two chronic illnesses, I can definitely answer how can men cope when their partner becomes chronically ill.

Chronic Illness

Dedicated to Male Partners

SEND IT MY WAY!

So, here’s a short and straight-to-the-point answer:

Talk to your partner about what she is going through. Listen to her. Learn about her illness to understand what she feels and why she acts the way she is. Talk to a therapist to process your feelings, socialize and practice self-care.

Why men cannot cope with chronically ill women?

When a woman becomes chronically ill, her husband or partner may feel like he is powerless to help. He may feel like he is losing the woman he loves and that their life together is falling apart.

Men cannot cope with chronically ill women because they are not used to being the ones who are powerless. In our society, men are supposed to be the strong ones, the ones who fix things. But when a woman becomes chronically ill, her husband may feel like he can’t do anything to fix it. He may feel helpless and hopeless.

That used to be the case for me. But I was determined to overcome this, to help my wife with her struggles, and decided to educate myself about endometriosis. Later on, when she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I educated myself about this disorder too.

If you want to learn how to cope with your partner’s chronic illness, how to support her struggles, and manage a relationship with a chronic condition, I give away a FREE Chapter of my eBook: “Supporting a Chronically Ill Partner”.

 

This chapter alone has all the comprehensive information about acknowledging the struggles, including:

• A word to your partner.
• A word to you.
• Stepping on eggshells.
• Understanding her needs.
• How to acknowledge having a chronically ill partner?
• Acknowledging can be hard.
• 15 tips on how to do it!

Why else men cannot cope with ill women?

Some men are selfish, others are uneducated about women’s health issues, and some men simply cannot handle anything that is outside of their comfort zone.

Some men are unable to deal with the fact that their partner may need more attention and care than they are used to give. This can be hard to handle for men who are used to being the caretakers in the relationship.

Uneducated men may not understand what their partner is going through and why she is acting the way she is. They may not know how to help or what to do to make things better.

And some men simply cannot handle anything that is outside of their comfort zone. When faced with a chronic illness, they may feel like they are in over their head and that they cannot handle the situation.

So how can men cope with an ill partner? How can men cope when their partner becomes chronically ill, long-term ill, with an illness that doesn’t have a cure?

How can men cope with an ill partner?

There are ways for men to cope when their partner becomes chronically ill. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this. There are other couples who have gone through this and come out the other side.

This is why it can be very beneficial to:

1. Reach out to other couples who have been through this. They can offer support and advice.
2. Talk to your partner about what she is going through.
3. Talk to a therapist.
4. Join a support group.
5. Make sure to take care of yourself.

Let’s expand on them one by one…

1. Reach out to other couples who have been through this.

When my wife was first diagnosed with endometriosis, I reached out to other couples who had been through this. I found a couple who had been through a very similar situation and they were able to offer me support and advice.

It was so helpful to talk to someone who knew what I was going through and could offer me advice from their own experience. One of the ways I found such couples was through blogging. I truly recommend you start one!

2. Talk to your partner about what she is going through.

This is probably the most important thing you can do. Your partner is going through a lot and she needs your support. Sit down with her and talk about what she is feeling.

Listen to her without judging or trying to fix anything. Just listen and try to understand what she is going through. If you can’t seem to find the right words, try writing her a letter expressing your love and support. Sometimes it can be easier to express our feelings in writing than it is in person.

3. Talk to a therapist.

If you are struggling to cope, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and give you the tools to deal with the situation.

It is not only the chronically ill partner who suffers. The caretaker suffers as well. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you are struggling.

I know being a man myself that men don’t feel comfortable expressing their emotions. But it is so important to do so in order to cope with what is happening. If you fear open communication, you can always write things down.

4. Join a support group.

There are many support groups available for men whose partner is suffering from a chronic illness. These groups can provide much-needed support and advice.

I joined a few in my life, but I found that there aren’t many groups dedicated to male partners of women with endometriosis. I also struggled to find information for male caregivers for women with fibromyalgia. However, I found plenty of general groups dedicated to a chronic illnesses.

5. Make sure to take care of yourself.

It is so important to take care of yourself when your partner is ill. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Make sure you do this to do things that make you happy and to nurture your own health. This will help you be the best support for your partner.

Self-care matters because you don’t want to reach the point of developing compassion fatigue or caregiver burnout.

Chronic illness can be a difficult thing to deal with, but it is possible to get through it. These tips can help you cope when your partner becomes chronically ill. Remember, you are not alone in this. There are other couples who have been through this and come out the other side. Reach out for support and care for yourself as well as your partner.

How else can men cope with an ill partner?

Here are great 15 ways how can men cope with an ill partner:

1. Educate yourself about your partner’s condition.
2. Understand that your partner is still the same person, despite the illness.
3. Make sure to still spend quality time together.
4. Do not try to fix everything.
5. Talk about your feelings.
6. Offer to help with practical things.
7. Encourage your partner to get professional help.
8. Join a support group.
9. Take care of yourself.
10. Find ways to relax and unwind.
11. Make sure to communicate openly and honestly.
12. Seek out other couples in similar situations.
13. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
14. Accept that there will be good days and bad days.
15. Know that you are not alone in this.

Extra tips on how men can cope when their partner becomes chronically ill.

Here are my 15 tips on how men can cope when their partner becomes chronically ill:

1. Understand that this is not your partner’s fault.
2. Do not take things personally.
3. Make sure to still show affection.
4. Do not be afraid to express your feelings.
5. Join a support group for caregivers.
6. Don’t try to fix everything – sometimes just being there is enough.
7. Be patient with your partner.
8. Encourage your partner to express their feelings.
9. Offer to help with household chores and errands.
10. Help your partner plan and prepare meals.
11. Encourage your partner to stay active and exercise.
12. Set some gentle barriers and limits to what you can do.
13. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends.
14. Accept that there will be good days and bad days.
15. StaStarStart a blog to get out of financial strain.

To finish off…

I hope this short article was straightforward and helped you answer three main questions:

• How can men cope when their partner becomes chronically ill?
• How can men cope with ill partner, regardless if it’s an acute or chronic illness?
• Why men cannot cope with chronically ill women?

If you have the advice of your own or want to share your story, please leave a comment below. Wishing you all the best.