Why should you visit an endometriosis doctor together?

Being the husband of 10 years to a woman with stage IV deep infiltrating endometriosis and supporting her throughout her diagnosis process, I am the best person to answer why should you visit an endometriosis doctor together.

Here’s what you need to know:

By attending appointments together, your partner can provide moral and emotional support, and can help advocate for you by speaking with your doctor if you feel gaslighted. Being present, your partner can develop a better understanding of endometriosis, and how it affects both of you.

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Why should you go to endometriosis appointments together?

There are many reasons why you should go to endometriosis appointments together. Let’s name a few…

Attending endometriosis appointments with your partner can be extremely beneficial, especially if your partner is a man. It is not only because they are often the ones who end up feeling left out and in the dark when it comes to endometriosis but because many male doctors don’t take female health problems seriously.

Having your partner in the room with you during endometriosis appointments can help ensure that you are getting the best possible care and that your endometriosis is taken seriously. Your partner can provide you with moral support during what can be a difficult and emotional process.

Additionally, your partner can help advocate for you with the doctor if you feel too overwhelmed to speak up for yourself. Sometimes fatigue, brain fog, and pain may not allow you to feel up for a conversation. This is why you should visit an endometriosis doctor together.

By attending appointments together, you and your partner can develop a better understanding of the condition and how it affects both of you as a couple. Ultimately, endometriosis appointments are a team effort, and partnering up can make the experience more positive and productive.

If you want to learn more about endometriosis, I wrote an “Endo-Tool, Endometriosis for Men” e-Book of which you can get a FREE 1st chapter containing all you need to know about this chronic condition, plus how to cope and support your partner.

• What is endometriosis?
• What are the symptoms?
• What causes endometriosis?
• What does endometriosis look like?
• What are the stages?
• What are the types?
• What is adenomyosis and how is it related to endometriosis?
• Why do some women develop severe endo and others don’t?
• Does endometriosis cause infertility?
• How is endometriosis diagnosed?
• Do types and stages affect the treatment?
• Recurrence of endometriosis after excision surgery.

My personal experience with M.

My wife’s experience of having me there has provided us a sense of togetherness, and when it comes to M, it gave her confidence in my support and gave her comfort as she didn’t have to face the doctors who were not compassionate or understanding.

I’ve spoken to many women online. It made me aware that my wife’s experience wasn’t unique. Many more women witnessed a lack of understanding, and often even felt gaslighted by their doctors when attending their appointments by themselves.

They noticed a big difference before and after their partner attended each appointment.

Having me present provided the doctor with further evidence of my wife’s symptoms and struggles. Sadly, my wife’s endometriosis symptoms were only taken seriously after I, a man, came with her to the appointment and shared what I have seen.

Finally, having me with her has been beneficial for us both in terms of information. In the very beginning, we didn’t know it all. Today, I can openly say that I’m more educated about endometriosis than most general practitioners.

What I found is that hospital visits are a bit different and that the presence of a partner or a family member is actually expected, especially before surgery. I also assisted my wife going to her surgery, however, being a man, I wasn’t allowed to go further than the reception, therefore it is ideal for a woman to go with you on the day of the surgery.

Once you go into surgery, communication is more difficult but I waited around, so your partner needs to be prepared to wait, ask for the updates at the desk, and have their phone with them.

How to find an endometriosis specialist?

The difference between a general practitioner and an endometriosis specialist is like the difference between night and day.

If you are serious about finding an endometriosis specialist, you will most likely have to travel to find one. They are very few and far between. My wife and I spent a few years seeing her endometriosis specialist because in the United Kingdom you have to play by the system and first a general practitioner.

Their lack of awareness of endometriosis makes it more difficult for these doctors to understand and they usually blame all the symptoms on stress, anxiety, and depression, however, I have met two doctors who knew one thing or two about endometriosis, but they were gaslighting my wife instead of helping.

This is why you should visit an endometriosis doctor together with your partner in order to avoid that.

in the United Kingdom, you should do your best to find the BSGE endometriosis specialist, in the United States, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) endometriosis specialist, or in Canada, the Canadian endometriosis network endometriosis specialist, and in Australia, there is Endometriosis Australia endometriosis specialist.

If you can’t find an endometriosis specialist, you can try to find an endometriosis pelvic pain expert in your area.

How to prepare for the first endometriosis appointment?

To prepare for the first endometriosis appointment, you should write down all of your symptoms, how long you’ve been experiencing them, and how they have impacted your life.

You should also keep a diary of your symptoms for at least three months, including when the pain started, how long it lasted, what made it better or worse, and anything else that you think might be relevant.

If you can, you should bring along a support person to your appointment, ideally a man, as they can offer emotional support and help you remember everything that the doctor says.

You should also make sure to ask the doctor any questions that you have, and to make sure that you understand everything that they say.

If you don’t feel like you’re getting the answers that you need, or if you feel like your doctor isn’t taking your symptoms seriously, you should consider finding a new doctor. By law, you have the right to a second opinion.

What to say to a doctor who is clueless about endometriosis?

If you are going to an appointment and want to find out if you have endometriosis but the doctor you’re seeing isn’t aware of the condition, here are some points you can raise:

• endometriosis is a condition where the tissue that is similar to the one that lines the inside of the uterus grows outside of the uterus
• endometriosis can cause pelvic pain, heavy periods, pain during sex, and infertility
• endometriosis is a chronic, progressive condition that can only be diagnosed by surgery
• endometriosis is often misdiagnosed or undertreated because of a lack of awareness among doctors
• endometriosis can have a significant impact on a woman’s quality of life, and it is important to find a doctor who is willing to listen to your concerns and provide the best possible care

What if the doctor gaslights you?

When you go to a doctor with the hope of finding out if you have endometriosis but the doctor gaslights you by saying that it is all in your head, that you’re anxious and stressed, then you should consider finding a new doctor.

If you feel like your doctor isn’t taking your symptoms seriously, or if you feel like you’re not getting the answers that you need, it is important to find a doctor who is willing to listen to your concerns and provide the best possible care.

This is why you should go to endometriosis appointments with your partner. It will allow you to have your support and avoid feeling alone during what can be a difficult and overwhelming experience.

Why should you visit an endometriosis doctor together?

Taking my personal experience into account, I give you 12 reasons why should you visit an endometriosis doctor together:

1. To ensure you are getting the best possible care.
2. To provide moral support during what can be a difficult and emotional process.
3. To help advocate for you if you feel too overwhelmed to speak up for yourself.
4. To develop a better understanding of endometriosis and how it affects both of you.
5. Ensure your endometriosis is taken seriously.
6. To provide information and support throughout your endometriosis journey.
7. Because many male doctors don’t take female health problems seriously.
8. Endometriosis appointments are a team effort, and partnering up can make the experience more positive and productive.
9. Having your partner in the room during endometriosis appointments can help ensure that you are getting the best possible care.
10. Because it is going to bring you closer together.

To finish off…

Summarising all you have read, endometriosis is a very serious and painful condition, and finding the right endometriosis doctor is essential to getting the best possible care.

Your partner can provide much-needed support throughout the endometriosis appointment process and can help ensure that you are getting the best possible care.

If you are considering visiting an endometriosis doctor, I urge you to do so with your partner by your side. You cannot go alone and feel lost, because endometriosis is a battle that you should face together as a couple.