Why do husbands leave sick wives?

So why do husbands leave sick wives?

Trying to figure out why do husbands leave sick wives depends on the illness the affected woman suffers from, but here is a straightforward answer to this question:

Women are naturally caring and speak of their feelings, men rarely talk about their emotions. Caring for sick wives men feel overwhelmed with additional tasks, they get easily upset, irritated, and even resentful. Their sex life impacted by their partner’s illness leads them to have sexual affairs.

Who is more likely to leave a marriage?

Chronically ill women are far more likely to be divorced by men than ill husbands by their wives. The chronic illness divorce rate is as high as 75% as opposed to healthy couples.

If you are new to my blog, I am a husband of a woman who has two chronic conditions – stage IV DIE endometriosis and fibromyalgia.

Both chronic conditions caused her to develop anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, and depression on top of daily chronic pain, fatigue, and other symptoms.

But despite the challenges that these illnesses caused us such as physical, emotional, mental, financial strain, my wife asking me to divorce her, and her suicidal thoughts and attempts, I stood by her and have never given up on our marriage.

Why?

I’m lucky not to suffer from physical and mental pain. Whenever I get up and lift my head off the pillow I realize that I have everything I truly need, I have health!

I also understood a while ago that instead of trying to “fix” my wife’s health (which I can’t), I needed to change my approach to her support.

Instead of moaning, I became her advocate, her nurse, her best friend, a true man she needed me to be.

I spoke with hundreds of women who suffer from endometriosis in my time, and I’ve learned how many partners, boyfriends, and husbands leave them because of the lack of understanding of the condition.

I also spoke with people who have fibromyalgia and realized that men are more likely to leave than women.

So because men don’t speak up about their feelings, they withdraw instead, the lack of understanding and communication are the reasons why husbands leave sick wives. It is heartbreaking.

If you want to learn about endometriosis, I wrote an “Endo-Tool, Endometriosis for Men” e-Book of which you can get a FREE 1st chapter containing all you need to know about this chronic condition, plus how to cope and support your partner.

• What is endometriosis?
• What are the symptoms?
• What causes endometriosis?
• What does endometriosis look like?
• What are the stages?
• What are the types?
• What is adenomyosis and how is it related to endometriosis?
• Why do some women develop severe endo and others don’t?
• Does endometriosis cause infertility?
• How is endometriosis diagnosed?
• Do types and stages affect the treatment?
• Recurrence of endometriosis after excision surgery.

Why do husbands leave chronically ill wives?

I may be one of a few explanations in general that women provide more care and support for their spouses within marriage than men do. Men gain more benefits from marriage than women do while women usually do more work.

When a chronic illness strike, those benefits dry up and men are more likely to walk away from the marriage.

Additionally, women usually have more sources of support outside of the marriage, from an extended family or friendships. Men usually tend to rely on their wives instead.

Women usually think ahead and have a backup plan, I see that with my wife, even though she’s severely chronically ill.

So, when a man becomes sick and can no longer fill the role of husband, wives have a plan. Husbands, however, often have no one else.

What strikes me the most is that chronically ill women never give up, they still fight bravely for their future, trying to take care of children, do chores, and try and cook. Ill men tend to give up and rely on their wives.

In sickness and in health…

While sickness ends some marriages, it also strengthens others. That is the case for me and my wife.

Personally, I don’t understand why do husbands leave sick wives? I’m not saying it’s all rainbows and puppy cuddles, but it gets easier when the years go by.

When a husband stands by his sick wife, he doesn’t only share her burden, it also gives them more time to hang out together, even if this means they sit doing nothing but watching Netflix. I do that with my wife, but we appreciate these little moments.

I swore in sickness and in health to care for my wife. These weren’t just empty words, I really meant that.

Men don’t always leave because their wives get sick. But the illness definitely does not help. If their marriage was already failing, the illness is usually the final nail in the coffin of divorce, and this is why the chronic illness divorce rate is as high as 75 percent.

Should your husband take care of you when you’re sick?

Taking care of a sick partner, whether it’s a short-term illness or a chronic condition is a massive responsibility.

A husband is supposed to care for his wife, not only when she’s young, healthy, and beautiful, he should do the same when her health isn’t great. How a husband cares for his wife when she’s ill says a lot about what kind of man and what kind of partner he is.

On that note, if a newly dating guy doesn’t take great care of his girlfriend, that’s a huge red flag!

Why do husbands leave sick wives instead of caring for them? Your husband should take care of you when you’re sick not leave you. Period.

Can you divorce a sick spouse?

People do. I researched and wrote a few articles about the endometriosis divorce rate, fibromyalgia divorce rate, overall chronic illness divorce rate, and chronic pain divorce rate. For all the above the divorce rate was 75% higher than that of healthy couples.

When a woman falls chronically ill, especially when it comes to endometriosis, it impacts both partners on every level of their relationship.

For me and my wife, her endometriosis and fibromyalgia impacted her not only physically, but also psychologically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and socially, and endometriosis also impacted both of us sexually.

Because her endometriosis is stage IV and deeply infiltrating, we could not conceive. We don’t have kids, we’ll never become mother and father, we won’t have a family and grandchildren to take care of us.

All of it is lost because of endometriosis, not to mention fibromyalgia that my wife also suffers from.

My wife tried to commit suicide on a handful of occasions, she also asked me to divorce her for the sake of my happiness, she developed anxiety, panic attacks, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and depression.

But still, I stood by her. I will never leave her. I cannot grasp why do husbands leave sick wives, especially when their women don’t make them feel bad, they actually try and do their best to make their husbands happy.

They do all that through pain, fatigue, and other symptoms of their chronic illness.

Men need to understand that whenever they get up and lift their heads off the pillow, they have everything they really need, and they have health. So they should appreciate it.

How can I be a good husband to a wife with chronic illness?

Listen to your wife when she talks about the physical and emotional impact the illness has on her. Be patient with her, believe her. Don’t try to “fix” her health, instead, change your approach to her support. Communicate, and state your own needs. Address the financial strain and intimacy.

Here are more of my tips on how to be a good husband to a wife with chronic illness?

• Be understanding that your plans may change and they are going to change last minute.
• Don’t complain about sleepless nights, she has that on top of the pain and other symptoms.
• Advocate for her, fight for her.
• Like any healthy relationship, you need to communicate with each other.
• Understanding her illness helps you help your partner better. Read as much as possible, and speak to her about what you read to find out what does and does not apply to her.
• Be aware that you may have to take on more tasks. It can be tiring, frustrating, and never-ending.

There will be challenges and it’s not going to be easy, but imagine yourself in her position to see it from her perspective. It’s way harder for your partner than it is for you.

Best of luck!